The Legacy Paradox: Why Most People Are Forgotten, But You Shouldn't Fear Being Forgotten Yourself

Welcome to Live Experience podcast. I'm your host, Joel Kleber. And if you're a first time listener to the podcast, this podcast is about sharing stories of those with lived experience in a large range of mental illness topics, and also where mental illnesses affected those in the family unit. You can also check out the website lived experience podcast.com. And if you do like what you hear, please make sure to leave a review, or drop me a follow on social media. If you're interested in sharing your story of lived experience, please make sure you reach out to me via lived experience podcast.com on the contact form, where you can check out the show notes for contact details. And I look forward to hearing from you soon. And I hope you enjoyed today's episode. So quick solo episode today, I just wanted to get this out there. Because I think it's something that you know, if you do think about it, honestly and apply it to your life, it can help you and is something that I'm going through at the moment in regards to trying to look at what I want to do and sort of plan my life because look, end of the day, you know, when my mum passed probably 14 months ago now, you know, I still think about it a lot. And like everyone, anyone would if you lost you lost a loved one, it's always in your mind and, and a sobering fact is that you're generally forgotten about within three generations. Now that sounds really harsh, but like, you know, you might you might have known your great grandmother, your great grandmother, or your great grandfather, you might have had that privilege to do it, but most people don't. And the thing is, you're generally forgotten about pretty quickly. Now this might sound very harsh, but it sort of is true. Like, you know, with with my mum passing from 14 months ago, you know, it's not something where, you know, her family, sodomy and you know, thinking of your mom or whatever, it's sort of just like, you know, that's happened and then move on and you don't want it and and from Darcy's episode Darcy Smyth go back to and have a listen to it, it's a really long period of grief. And for those who are really affected by it, it will still go on for a long, long time. But for most people, you just can't pay mentalized. And, and you move on. But about a saying I heard recently kind of who said it, but you generally most people have forgotten about in 33 generations, unless you're some, you know, you change world history in a significant way. Or you do something you last a long time, you're gonna forget about really quickly. Now, that might be something where it sounds harsh, or but the way I've sort of been looking at it and using it is, what legacy Do you want to build for yourself and your family? Or you ended up by business? So you ended up by having more children? Or what is it right, so what legacy you're going to build? So that's one. And the other thing about is changing your mindset to really get over yourself in terms of what your what your happiness is, or where you think it's tied up? If so, give you an example. Right? So, in my whole what I do, I'm trying to really build a personal brand, I know what to do, I know how to do it. But what stops me is the ego and the fear of putting things out online in regards to like, you know, video content, or whatever it is stuff that I know how to do. But it's because I'm so my ego. So hang up in a world What if I get a negative comment, and I've had a few negative comments, sometimes the podcast clips, and it just really gets my mood down. But it's such a really arrogant thing to say, because as I said, we all have short attention spans, no one's going to remember anything you really do pass through generations. And that's just a fact. So why do you care? And that's, that's the point. So why should you care about all these superficial hang ups or how you're going to feel when you do these sorts of things, when the reality is you're going to be forgotten about in three generations or less? Now, that sounds really harsh, but what the way you're going to reframe that sort of mindset is, you know, people move on quickly. So if you make mistakes with what you do, you know, people will forget about it. They're so happy in their own lives. And you should also not live for someone else, but live for yourself. So don't always think, you know, next year I'm gonna do this or this, you don't have. You don't have time, you know, and we all know those things. Yeah, Tomorrow is not promised, but people don't really believe it. But, you know, as I said, you know, the way going through with what I do here through my mom, you know, you have all these plans, you know, we're gonna get have kids, and we're gonna get married, and mum will come to this and this and this, and it just didn't happen. And that's a big regret, I'll always have you know, and that's something I've had when I talk to Darcy and interview, he said the same thing, you know, it's not, the grief is bad, but like, it's, you know, he's gonna have a family and all these life achievements and stuff that he thought he would have shared with his parent, but she's not here. So he can't do it. And that's a big regret of people, right? So this whole thing about thing about planning and having time and all that sort of stuff, you really you just don't know. So it means if you evaluate your life and your plots yourself, go and look, I'm not going to be remembered in three generations, who cares for embarrass myself doing something I'm happy with because if you're happy with it, you're living a life for yourself. That's a life well lived. So in a small thing, what I'm trying to say is, just remember, you're forgotten about in three generations unless you change the world in a significant way. That's just the reality. And that's a sad reality. And it's it should be comforting because it should give you More power to to look at your life right now, if you're not happy with certain things and what you're doing, and where you want to be, just just have the courage to have a crack and change it. Because this is something I'm trying to put myself at the moment to do, I'm not going to say exactly what it is. I don't know what it is. But it's something I'm looking at my own life, and I'm not happy. And I'm really need do I have the courage to make the change that I need to do it. Because I'm so fearful and stuck in a cycle and the security. I've got a comfort blanket all the time. But I know what I want to do, but I don't have the courage to do it. So I'm trying to reframe and look for different things that I can sort of maybe get into my subconscious so that I can make decisions like this, and the one that's really sticking with managing it if 333 Within three generations, you're generally forgotten about really sobering thought. But I think it's a really powerful one as well, that you should pursue what you want to do. Don't get embarrassed, don't feed into negative comments or hate or anything like that, because it's it's over so quick. And your plans that you lay out, which you think might come to fruition next year or tomorrow, whenever they're not guaranteed. So we can do all the bet the best plans and budgeting and all that sort of stuff as much as you want. But life happens and when it happens to happen, it's hard. And your perspective will change. But I just think I just wanted to share that because I think it's something that that phrases sticking in the back of my head and that reality and it's been a really good motivator and also really powering just being a bit more courageous in things and just in general in life. So laid out with you there as well. If you do like what you hear, please make sure you always share and leave a review and until next episode, I hope you have a great week.